Thursday, December 30, 2010

New Year's Resolutions

The New Year is a time for renewal and self improvement! Join Comics and ... as we take a look at the New Year’s Resolutions of some of our favorite superheroes!

Green Lantern (John Stewart): Avoid being killed in the launch of a new title or creative team.

Robin (Damian Wayne): Ask father about this talk about “the birds and the bees,” eliminate birds and bees.

Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Prove I’m the Greatest Green Lantern Ever by being the best Red, Blue, Orange, and White Lantern I can be.

Captain America (Bucky Barnes): Live up to Steve’s legacy, figure out why everyone keeps asking if I’m from Puerto Rico.

Green Lantern (Kyle Rayner): Look at art on more planets, stop snickering when people call Hal the Greatest Green Lantern Ever.

The Flash (Barry Allen): Do something interesting.

Green Lantern (Guy Gardner): Drink 52 new beers, prove Barack HUSSEIN Obama’s REAL place of birth, get the Guardians out of my Health Care.

Steve Rogers: Start a Myspace page that all these whippersnappers keep going on about.

Elektra: Find more practical weapons.

Dr. Light (Kimiyo Hoshi): Avoid being killed in the launch of a new title or creative team.

Daredevil (Matt Murdock): Start drinking.

Vixen: Avoid being killed in the launch of a new title or creative team.

Green Arrow (Oliver Queen): Have only one bold, new creative direction for the year once this forest thing fails.

Batman (Bruce Wayne): Continue to maximize corporate synergy opportuities while utilizing brand identity to exploit vulnerabilities in crime’s organizational framework

Steel: Avoid being killed in the launch of a new title or creative team. ...uh oh.

Volstagg: Verily, make my presence known at the gymnasiums of Midgard to mold mine body to delight all those in my voluptuous presence.

Hank Pym: It’s a long list.

Superman: Stop sulking. Throw away hoodies.

Thor: Appear in only one book?! I say thee nay!

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